What is the order of a vow renewal ceremony?

Welcome, a few words on why everyone is there, an optional reading, the renewal of vows themselves, optional rings, a blessing or closing words, and the presentation of the couple. Fifteen minutes is a generous run time; ten is common.

Who reads the officiant's lines at a vow renewal?

Anyone. A renewal creates no marriage, so no licensed officiant is required anywhere. Couples routinely ask a friend, an adult child or a parent, and plenty lead the ceremony themselves — the fourth script below is written for exactly that.

Does the church have an official vow renewal service?

Three do. The Church of England has “Thanksgiving for Marriage” in Common Worship, the Catholic Church has a Rite for Celebrating Renewal within Mass, and the Episcopal Church has “Anniversary of a Marriage” in the Book of Occasional Services. All three are quoted in full on this page, and they are not the same rite.

Do you exchange rings again at a vow renewal?

Optionally. Some couples buy a new ring, some have the original re-blessed, and many touch the ring they are already wearing instead. Common Worship provides different wording for each: “I give you this ring” for a new one, “I gave you this ring” for the one already on the hand.

Vow renewal ceremony script

Five complete ceremonies below, every officiant line written out, so whoever is leading can read from the page. Then the three authorised church rites, quoted in full from the books they come from.

None of this has to be legally exact, because none of it is legal. You are already married; a renewal creates no marriage, so there is no required wording and no requirement for a licensed officiant. That is freeing, and it is the reason these scripts are short.

Start here

The short one

Any setting · about 5 minutes

Officiant: We’re here for a good reason and a simple one. [Name] and [Name] were married on [date], and [number] years later they would like to say it again, out loud, in front of you.

Officiant: [Name] and [Name], you made promises to each other once without knowing what they would ask of you. You know now. Do you wish to make them again?

Both: We do.

Officiant: Then take each other’s hands and say so.

Partner A: [vow]

Partner B: [vow]

Officiant: You have said it twice now, which is more than most people manage once. Friends, it is my very great pleasure to present [Name] and [Name] — still married, and apparently pleased about it.

The full ceremony

With reading and rings · about 15 minutes

Officiant: Good afternoon, and welcome. [Name] and [Name] were married on [date] at [place]. Some of you were there. Some of you weren’t born. All of you have been part of what happened next.

Officiant: A wedding is a promise about a life nobody has lived yet. A renewal is different. It is two people looking back at what they promised, seeing plainly what it cost, and choosing it again with their eyes open. That is the harder vow, and the better one.

[A reading, if you are having one.]

Officiant: [Name] and [Name], you have been married [number] years. In that time you have [one or two true, specific things — a move, a loss, a child, a business, an illness came through]. Nothing about the promise you made was theoretical after that.

Officiant: Please face each other and take hands.

Officiant: [Name], do you take [Name] again, as you took [him/her/them] on [date] — to love, to be honest with, to stand beside in whatever is still coming?

Partner A: I do. [Then the vow.]

Officiant: [Name], the same question to you.

Partner B: I do. [Then the vow.]

Officiant: You have worn these rings for [number] years, and they have not needed replacing. Take them off, and put them back on, and say what they meant.

Both, in turn: I gave you this ring [number] years ago. I give it to you again, and everything that came with it.

Officiant: [Name] and [Name], you were married before you got here and you will be married when you leave. What has changed today is only that we all heard you mean it. Please, kiss each other — and everyone, these are the [surname]s.

With the children in it

Family renewal · about 12 minutes

Officiant: Welcome. There are more of us than there were at the wedding, which is rather the point.

Officiant: [Name] and [Name] married each other on [date]. Everything else in this room — including [children’s names] — came after that promise and because of it.

Officiant: [Name] and [Name], will you make your promises again?

Partner A: [vow]

Partner B: [vow]

Officiant: [Children’s names], your parents have just promised each other something. Will you hold them to it?

Children: We will.

Officiant: And [Name] and [Name] — will you promise these three the home they have always had?

Both: We will.

Officiant: Then that’s all of you, promised to all of you. Family, this is the [surname] family — renewed, and going nowhere.

Just the two of you, no officiant

Private · about 4 minutes

Nobody needs to lead this. Read the italics silently and say the rest to each other.

Partner A: We got married on [date]. There’s nobody here to tell us to do this, so I’m going to do it anyway.

Partner A: [vow]

Partner B: [vow]

Both, together: Everything we promised, we promise again. No witnesses, no paperwork, nothing that needs signing. Just the two of us, saying it because it’s true.

At an anniversary party

Informal · about 3 minutes

For a renewal that happens in the middle of a party rather than as a separate event. Whoever is speaking taps a glass.

Host: Before the food goes cold — [Name] and [Name] have something to do, and they’d like you all to witness it. Thirty seconds. Nobody has to sit down.

Partner A: [vow, kept short]

Partner B: [vow, kept short]

Host: [Number] years, said again in front of everyone who has watched them do it. To [Name] and [Name].

The authorised church renewal services

Three churches publish a renewal service of their own, and they are not interchangeable. The Church of England has the couple recite their original vow back in the past tense. The Catholic rite is a fresh joint pledge. The Episcopal service is a question answered “I do”. Each is quoted below from the book it comes from.

If you are renewing in a church, your minister decides what is used and how it is adapted. Take these as what the books actually say, not as permission.

Church of England: Thanksgiving for Marriage

Common Worship, Pastoral Services (2000)

Minister: I invite you now to recall the vows that you made at your wedding.

Husband and wife face each other and hold hands.

Husband: I, N, took you, N, to be my wife;

Wife: I, N, took you, N, to be my husband;

Together: to have and to hold from that day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part, according to God’s holy law, and this was our solemn vow. Today, in the presence of our family and friends, we affirm our continuing commitment to this vow.

Minister, to the congregation: Will you, the family and friends of N and N, continue to support and uphold them in their marriage now and in the years to come?

All: We will.

If a new ring is given:

I give you this ring as a sign of our marriage. With my body I honour you, all that I am I give to you, and all that I have I share with you, within the love of God, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.

Or, touching the ring already worn:

I gave you this ring as a sign of our marriage. With my body I honour you, all that I am I give to you, and all that I have I share with you, within the love of God, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.

The full service also has a welcome, a preface, readings and prayers. Note the past tense — the couple recall the vow rather than re-making it — and the prayer-book wording till death us do part, not the American reordering. The preface contains a bracketed clause asking God’s forgiveness “for all that has been amiss”, which the book says may be omitted, and may matter particularly when a couple are celebrating a reconciliation.

Catholic: Rite for Celebrating Renewal in Church within Mass

Liturgy Office, England & Wales

Priest: Friends in Christ, we are gathered together with these couples, our friends, who give thanks to God for his blessing upon their marriage, and today reaffirm their marriage covenant.

Priest: Dear friends, on your wedding day you freely pledged your love. Join hands now and give your promise anew.

The couples, together: We pledge ourselves anew to love and honour each other for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health till death us do part. We pledge ourselves anew to love and support our children and to share with them all we value.

Where desired, the children may add:

We pledge ourselves anew to love and respect our parents who gave us life and faith.

All present, together: We pledge ourselves anew to be loyal, considerate, and forgiving to all those with whom we live, that in our home we may find Christ and in our lives others may see him.

Priest: Let us confirm these pledges in Christ by offering each other a sign of peace.

Written for several couples at once, which is why it reads “the couples” — many parishes run it as an annual anniversary Mass. The pledge is said by both partners together rather than exchanged, and it is the only one of the three rites that gives lines to the children and to the whole congregation. Where a single couple renews, they may relight their wedding candle. The renewal follows the homily, and the Mass then continues as normal.

Episcopal: Anniversary of a Marriage

The Book of Occasional Services 2022, pp. 213–215

Presider: Friends in Christ, we are gathered together with N. and N., who have come today to give thanks to God for his blessing upon their marriage, and to reaffirm their marriage covenant.

Presider, to each spouse: N., do you here, in the presence of God and of this congregation, renew the promises you made when you bound yourself to N. in holy matrimony?

The spouse: I do.

The couple, together: We thank you, most gracious God, for consecrating our marriage in Christ’s Name and presence. Lead us further in companionship with each other and with you. Give us grace to live together in love and fidelity, with care for one another. Strengthen us all our days, and bring us to that holy table where, with those we love, we will feast for ever in our heavenly home; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

Presider, blessing them: May God the Father, who ordained that it is good for two people to live in the covenant of marriage, keep you one. Amen.

May God the Son, who adorned this manner of life by his first miracle, at the wedding in Cana of Galilee, be present with you always. Amen.

May God the Holy Spirit, who has given you the will to persevere in your love and in your covenant with each other, strengthen your bond. Amen.

And may God the Holy Trinity, the source of all unity, bless you this day and for ever. Amen.

The shortest of the three, and the only one built as a question and answer rather than a recited vow. A rubric notes that the form may be adapted as an act of reconciliation in consultation with the parties — the clearest acknowledgement in any of these books that renewals are not always purely celebratory. Its opening address is almost word for word the Catholic one above.

Where the vows go

Every script above leaves a [vow] gap, because that is the part nobody else can write. There are twenty-four complete renewal vows to drop straight into it, or the vow builder will draft one from your own answers. If you would rather write it yourself, how to renew your vows has the questions that produce one.

Common questions

What is the order of a vow renewal ceremony?: Welcome, a few words on why everyone is there, an optional reading, the renewal of vows themselves, optional rings, a blessing or closing words, and the presentation of the couple. Fifteen minutes is a generous run time; ten is common.
Who reads the officiant's lines at a vow renewal?: Anyone. A renewal creates no marriage, so no licensed officiant is required anywhere. Couples routinely ask a friend, an adult child or a parent, and plenty lead the ceremony themselves — the fourth script below is written for exactly that.
Does the church have an official vow renewal service?: Three do. The Church of England has “Thanksgiving for Marriage” in Common Worship, the Catholic Church has a Rite for Celebrating Renewal within Mass, and the Episcopal Church has “Anniversary of a Marriage” in the Book of Occasional Services. All three are quoted in full on this page, and they are not the same rite.
Do you exchange rings again at a vow renewal?: Optionally. Some couples buy a new ring, some have the original re-blessed, and many touch the ring they are already wearing instead. Common Worship provides different wording for each: “I give you this ring” for a new one, “I gave you this ring” for the one already on the hand.